Ga Eul's POV

It was Christmas eve.

I am alone on the streets of Seoul, full of couples and families doing their last minute shopping, or simply just strolling, taking in the decorations and soaking up the happy atmosphere. I had been wandering around aimlessly for the past two hours, trying but failing to forget that conversation that had been replaying in my head since that day three months ago.

I was excited, but more nervous than excited. I was going to meet Yi Jung sunbae’s family. He had picked me up in his black Porsche 911 Turbo. I smiled as I remembered the day he decided to change his car, the day after I finally blurted out what I thought- “ Sunbae, don’t you think orange is a little loud? I never thought you were an orange kind of person…”

In the car, I was a bundle of nerves. He used his free hand and put it over mine. “Jagiya, you have nothing to worry about. They’ll love you as much as I do. I promise.”

I felt a blush coming, and in spite of my nervousness, I let out a small smile. He always used that form of endearment to distract me, and it worked its magic every time. No matter what I did, I am still not immune to THAT word.

“Have I told you? You look amazing tonight.” He said, looking at me and flashing me that heart melting smile. I decided to loosen up a little. “Only tonight? Sunbae, I’m disappointed” I teased, pouting.

“I didn’t mean it that way, jagiya. Every single day, you blow me away.” He replied smoothly, giving me an intense look that said everything. I could see it in his eyes, his love, and I smiled. “Yah, keep your eyes on the road, sunbae! I don’t want to die young.”

“You won’t, because we’re already here. It’s the point of no return.” I looked out of the window as we pulled into the driveway of the So mansion. My heart thumped at the monstrosity of the elaborately designed house, the gardens, yards, pool and driveway. No, ‘palace’ should be the more appropriate word.  

As if sensing my fear, Yi Jung sunbae held my when we walked up the steps to the foyer of the house. He gave it a little tight squeeze, and I smiled. He smiled back, whispering, “I’ll be there, right next to you.” The doors were opened by the servants and we walked in.

There was so much to take in- the large chandelier hanging on the ceiling over the 10 seater dining table, gleaming in the light, the intricate vintage wallpaper, the huge mahogany table and its hand carved chairs, and the girl at the dining table whom I do not recognise, as well as an old lady. Who were they?

“Halmoni.” I heard Yi Jung sunbae say. That answered part of my question I suppose.

“Yi Jung ah, you’re late. Dinner’s starting, so sit down quickly.”  Halmoni instructed. Yi Jung sunbae continued, as if without hearing halmoni. “Good evening, Mr and Mrs Kim and Eun Hye.” Yi Jung greeted. I had not notice Mr and Mrs Kim before- I suppose they were Eun Hye’s parents?

“This is my girlfriend, Chu Ga Eul. She’s joining us for dinner tonight.”  He continued. I smiled and greeted them. “Annyeong haseyo. I am Chu Ga Eul.” 

“Take a seat, Yi Jung and Ga Eul. we’re starting dinner soon.” Yi Jung’s mother replied, a small smile on her face.

Dinner was delicious, albeit a little awkward. Yi Jung seemed to refuse to communicate with Halmoni, and conversation was scarce, only the usual niceties.

We were finishing desert- triple chocolate mousse topped with dark chocolate shavings and warm chocolate sauce- when halmoni announced. “I have an announcement to make.” She stood up, and looked directly at me. “I would like to announce the engagement of  Eun Hye and Yi Jung. Our two families have always been close business partners, and with the union of our children, I am sure that in the future, we will work together to propel the Korean pottery world onto the world stage. “ I heard the roaring sound in my ears, as if attempting to block out halmoni’s voice. I felt Yi Jung sunbae’s hand on mine, but my hands remained limp. Engagement?

“Halmoni, I have discussed this issue with you before and I believe that I have made my point.  I…” I heard him say. My heart’s restrictions grew tighter, almost to the extent where I could no longer breathe- he had known about this?

I slipped my hands out of his slowly. I stood up. “Congratulations, Yi  Jung sunbae and Eun Hye.” I said, smiling as naturally as I could. My eyes already starting to tear but I refused to show it- not in front of them . “Halmoni, I remembered that I have a family engagement tonight and I have to go now. Thank you for the delicious dinner.” I looked at her in the eyes, speaking, trying not to stammer or waver.

“You are welcomed, Miss Chu. Do come for their engagement party on Christmas eve. I’ll send an invite. Have a safe trip to your next destination.” I refused to answer her.

I turned to Yi Jung sunbae’s parents. “Thank you for having me tonight. I’ll be leaving now.”

“Ga Eul yang…” I heard Yi Jung sunbae say. I had to interrupt before I hear him say sorry. It was not the word I wanted to hear. “Sunbae, thank you for the dinner invitation. I’ll be leaving now. Good night.” I turned to leave.

“Yi Jung, why don’t you give Eun Hye and her parents a tour of the mansion? After all, your friend is leaving, and you’re free now.” Halmoni began the moment I finished speaking. I walked out of the front door which the servants held open.

He did not come after me.

Perhaps it was for the best? After I cried it all out, I looked at my phone. I got 22 missed calls from him, countless of smses and my voice mail was full from all the messages he left. Suddenly the phone rang again. It was from his grandmother. After that phone call, I deleted every single voice mail and sms without hearing or seeing them. I could not do this to Yi Jung sunbae.

It was wrong, how even when my heart was broken into all the little pieces that all those little broken pieces continued loving him. I knew I still would, but he will never know it. I would protect him from this truth.

 “Yobuseyo?”

“Is this Miss Chu Ga Eul?” was that halmoni? Why was she calling me at midnight? I froze.

“Is that Miss Chu Ga Eul?” she repeated.

I recovered from the initial shock. “ Neh, you are…?” I asked, just to be sure.

“We met at dinner. I am Yi Jung’s halmoni.”

“ Halmoni, the purpose of this call this…?”

“ Miss Chu, I won’t honey coat my words, and I will tell you the truth. We are facing a  crisis, and only the Kims can alleviate this crisis. They demanded for their daughter to be wedded to Yi Jung before they would help us. Time is running out, and the creditors are demanding payment. It will hurt Yi Jung’s career as a potter, and most probably end his career if the truth gets out- that his work was a copy of another artist’s. I know it cannot be but that artist happens to be more senior and extremely well known in the pottery world, while Yi Jung, talented as he might be, has just debuted a few years ago. His reputation as a playboy does not bode well either.”

“ But, halmoni, I still don’t understand. Why would…”

“Let me finish telling you what happened first.  He is not suing us for money. He’s out to ruin our family’s name, to ruin Yi Jung. That potter happened to bear a grudge with my now deceased husband, and now that he’s got his chance, he won’t let it go. The Kims are influential as they are the major art exporters and importers, and are the agent for him, so they can negotiate it with him and make him drop intentions to sue. So please, if you love Yi Jung, leave him.”

“I understand that, halmoni. But the Kims, will they fulfill their promise? Yi Jung sunbae will never need to know this truth right?” Tears were falling freely and silently onto my cheeks.

“He will never know, I promise. I, like you, love my grandson a lot, and I will do all to protect him.”

“Thank you, halmoni. I promise, I won’t contact Yi Jung sunbae ever again.” Even at the expense of myself, to have to shoulder and carry the pain by myself, I would gladly do it, to do it for the man I love.

“You’re a good girl, Miss Ga Eul.  You’ll find your happiness someday. Thank you. Good night.”

“Good night.”

We hung up.

Just like a rose can’t live without rain, love cannot be without the risk of pain. I took the plunge into love, and I fell. We cannot gain if we cannot let go, so I chose to let go first. Though there was always a small part of my heart, wondering if this was meant to be. ..